Lately I’ve found myself in a position I’ve never been in. Ever since I was little I have always known exactly what I wanted to do. Dentist. School bus driver. Mail lady. Teacher. Marketer. Social worker. Musician. Film maker. You name it, I’ve probably wanted to be it at one point in my life.
But lately I’ve been feeling stuck. I’ve figured out a lot of things I don’t want to do. I’ve learned over the past semester that digital media production is not my passion. I love it, and it’s something I’ll be doing for a very long time . . . but it’s not something I’m passionate about.
It’s not the first time I realized something wasn’t my passion . . . the only thing that differs this time is that I don’t have a back-up plan. I’m very, very undeclared at the moment. I don’t have a five-year-plan, a “dream job”, or even an idea as to where I’d like to end up after graduation. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.
And I know, I know, I know. “Don’t worry! You’ve still got time!” “I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I was your age!” “I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up!” I know. I’ve always been a long-term-thinker, so not having a plan really leaves me unsettled and nervous.
Tonight I was reminded that I do not serve a God that serves me. My God does not do what I plan . . . and thank goodness for that. I can’t imagine where I’d be if I did what I wanted to do. The Lord has been guiding me this far; I completely trust that He will bring me to where I need to be next.
I was very afraid of uncertainty . . . and I’m not saying I’m 100% comfortable and at peace with not having a plan . . . but I am thankful that He is my vision. Nothing else satisfies . . . only You, Lord. He’s my best thought. Better than all the thoughts I think in class, better than the crazy things I think about right before I fall asleep . . . He’s better than it all.
He’s got you and me, brother, in His hands. He’s got it figured out. I trust Him. He’s my vision.