Empty Room

Yesterday I started moving my things out of my apartment into my dorm room. It’s an odd and somewhat backwards transition to go back to a single room. I carried box load after box load to my room. The elevator wasn’t working, but since I only live on the second floor, I figured the climb would be good for me.

After finally getting to my room, I unlocked the door and slammed the box down on the dresser closest to the door. I unloaded my desk organizer and individually I placed each pen, pencil and sharpie where it belonged. I bent down to pick up my textbooks, but my knees went weak. Overwhelmed by all of the emotions I was feeling, I fell to my knees in front of the box and felt my eyes fill with tears. I started replaying the day filled with “lasts” and “goodbyes” in my head, and I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

The summer is over. We’re all moving on. Some of my teammates are off to grad school. Some are moving several states away to start a new job. Some are studying abroad for the semester. Some are starting up their next semester here on campus. But it’s over.

Feeling embarrassed even though no one was around to see me cry, I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked around the room. It was empty, that’s for sure. But as I looked around it felt less and less like a room of isolation and more like a fresh start.

Yes, the summer is over. It was a beautiful summer. It was a summer of growth. I am not the same person that I was when I went into it. I’ve been challenged musically, emotionally, and spiritually (and a little bit physically! Music equipment is heavy!) Now it’s time to do something with all the ways that I’ve grown.

I’m ready for my second year of college. Ready to start a new major. Ready to be a praise and worship leader. I’m ready for all of the ups and downs this next school year has in store.

So give me some time. Let me “grieve” the end of this chapter of my story. But know that I’m so ready for a fresh start. I’m ready for new adventures, and I can’t wait to see how the next chapter is going to be.

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2 Comments

  1. […] A little over nine months ago I was moving into my dorm. My life was packed in boxes, the room was empty, and I was terrified. I had just finished the best summer of my life, leading worship in so many different places with some of the best people I knew. I wasn’t ready to give it up, and I was terrified of the uncertainty. I wrote […]

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