Ending a Chapter

I like to look at my life as a story, broken up into chapters. Some are more obvious than others, divided up by school years, trips, months, classes, etc. It’s tough to know exactly when one begins and one ends. This is part of the reason why I journal. I like being able to track my story. I thumb through the pages in the middle of church, re-reading old sermons, prayers, and recordings of my daily happenings.

I started this journal seven months ago, sitting my room on one of the few remaining days of my summer break. l had just come home from my summer adventures with The New City and was preparing for another school year. I was scared. Scared to be a praise and worship leader, scared to start a new major, scared of starting a new year in general.

But dare I say, this was one of my favorite chapters I’ve ever “written,” or at least seen written before me. I have learned so much and grown up so much in the past seven months. You know how at the end of the Grinch, his heart grows three times in size? That’s a bit how I’m feeling. Perhaps I didn’t start out at grinch-level, but I have learned so much on how to love that it feels as if my heart has literally grown. I’ve learned more about loving others in so many different contexts. Love isn’t always soft and mushy; it can be really difficult to operate with an attitude of love. But in this chapter, I’ve learned more about sincere love . . . giving and receiving it.

I’m sad to watch this chapter end because it was one of the best one’s I’ve had. But, it’s time to put this journal on the shelf next to the others I have written. I’m just about to start a journal for the eleventh time in my life (I started jorunaling July of 2008.) I’m very excited for this new chapter because it really is a blank slate; it has blank unruled pages with a blank cover. I get to take this tiny, empty book and watch it fill with new stories and adventures from the next chapter. Soon enough I’ll be finished with that journal and once again astounded at my growth through it.

I am filled with anticipation and excitement, and I can’t wait to see where this next chapter will take me.

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